I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
