Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
