I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
