Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
