So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
If that was your dad, he is hot
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
