I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
