i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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