Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
