is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
