I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
it's like iHOP with fire
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
