video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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