And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
