wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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