I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
