His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
