we have pet lesbian snakes
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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