I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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