I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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