I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
