Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
