so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
