Dude my mom stole all your condoms
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
