Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
