went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
