so explain again why im purple
no
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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