I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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