An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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