there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
