Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
