I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
