I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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