My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
