We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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