everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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