so let's talk penis.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
i now understand why vodka
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
