yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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