There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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