would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
