he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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