I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
