I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
