3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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