Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
