i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
