I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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