Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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