it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
