I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
