now i know why i became what i already was.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
