Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
