Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You ate ashes out of my bong
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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